How Does Technology Affect the Sexual Safety of Teens?
When it comes to technology, most aspects of a teenager’s life are completely unknown to their parents. Who their acquaintances are; what parties are being planned; who is seeking them out for a date or a “hook up,” all of these influences are managed on a palm-sized screen that rarely leaves said teenager’s back pocket. For caring adults to think that they can provide damage control for the experiences that could cause harm is foolhardy at best, dangerous at worse. A better option is to equip young people with the intuitive capacity to manage these things on their own.
Much of a teen’s world now exists in a universe known as cyber-space. Made up of multi-galaxies of various social contacts, TikTok videos and Instagram feeds, this universe is largely unnavigable for caring adults who orbit the outer atmosphere. What we can do, though, is help teens cultivate the know-how for managing unavoidable space debris like peer pressure, body shaming and sexual game-playing (to name a few).
How Can Adults Help Teenagers Manage Their Online Presence?
One helpful approach when discussing social media is to explore the negative obstacles (ie. peer pressure) objectively. Conversations that include young people’s experiences, thoughts, concerns and reactions is crucial in helping them integrate the kind of awareness they need to respond to peer pressure effectively.
Asking questions like, “Do your friends ever say things that make you feel judged or pressured?” helps young people build discernment about healthy versus unhealthy interactions. Questions like, “What do you do when you get a text that makes you uncomfortable?” introduces the idea that their intuition is sending them signals, and it’s up to them to respond. Or asking, “What would you say if someone made an inappropriate request, like asking you to send a nude pic?” helps them identify the words they would use to make their boundaries clear.
Young people (as with most people) can minimize the damage created by predator behavior when it takes place online. Since 79% of women under the age of 30 report experiencing cyber harassment or cyber stalking, we can have frank conversations with young people about how to recognize a boundary violation by tapping in to how they feel.
Predators are emboldened to send provocative material when they can hide behind their screens. Some of these overtures are so common, it’s easy for the receiver to shrug it off as “normal.” Helping teens to value their intuition and not minimize their discomfort, begins to create a new neural pathway in the brain. This pathway can make the difference between danger or safety, as a young person learns to declare: “If I’m not comfortable then I will not stay silent.”
Here is some information to help teens identify and respond to cyber harassment:
1) If you are receiving inappropriate or threatening texts, take a screen shot of the message and/or record all evidence related to search results for your name. You can use the evidence to file charges since cyber harassment is against the law.
2) If you are uncomfortable with an online transaction, don’t hesitate to say so. There is no space for being “nice” with someone who is crossing your boundary. Tell them to back off or consider blocking them permanently.
3) Posting nudes online is against the law. If convicted, this behavior can lead to jail time and a permanent record, as well as negatively impacting future job prospects.
4) Stand up to peer pressure. No one deserves to feel targeted by cyber bullying. If you are on the receiving end, tell a trusted adult who can support you. If you’re invited to participate in the targeting, let your group know, “I’m not a bully, and you shouldn’t be either.”
Assisting young people in navigating the digital world is not a one-time conversation. It’s multi-layered and ongoing, and can sometimes feel impossible when worry gets the better of us.
At Be Strong, Be Wise, we want to support your efforts, which is why we created our signature program for teens and young adults. The program gives youth a road map for addressing cyber harassment, among many other things, in a way that builds personal growth and confidence. For more information, check out our full description at: https://www.bestrongbewise.com/programs-for-youth
